I have to apologize for signing up for 5 Days of Blog and then not posting all week. My days lately have consisted of heavy(and I mean that in pounds) physical labor. At the end of the day, my muscles--even in my hands are so sore that I literally cannot type! We have a very large container which was filled with items from our 3-car garage when we moved here last year. We have just finished putting up our new garage and have been moving everything from one to the other--not finished yet either. While we were at it, we also sorted through everything and so are no longer storing anything we will not use. So there's my excuse. I am so sorry for not honoring my committment. Next time, I will think about what is coming up in the week before I make an online commitment like that one. Thank you everyone who left your wonderful, encouraging comments.
Last night, I was reading in James about how what comes out of our mouths shows who we really are. I have a bad habit of using bad words (not using the Lord's name in vain, but rather talking like a sailor). It seems this last week as I am very tired, those words flow out of my mouth like water from a waterfall. I hear myself say them and flinch. I don't want to say them, but I do anyway. And I realized--I am trying to control this bad habit on my own strength. I haven't prayed about it, because, as usual, I think, "I can do this thing on my own--the Lord doesn't need to be bothered with something so trivial." But having read the verses, the Lord spoke to me about the words coming out of my mouth.
The verses were James 3: 5-13 "5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. 7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: 8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. 11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? 12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom."
I have never had such a strong and immediate conviction. Continuing to use bad words in anger or frustration is a very poor witness for my unsaved spouse. He doesn't use ANY bad words. He has always thought it was funny that I did. But lately as my sore muscles and frustration level has risen, he has commented several times to me about my "anger". I try to excuse myself by saying I am just frustrated, but once I started hearing myself, it does sound very angry.
I pray, Father, that you give me your strength to let go of the need to vent frustration (and anger) by speaking bad words that spew a bad witness to my spouse. I ask, Lord that you put a lock on my lips and mind so that the words don't even form. Let me praise you instead. Let my life be a prayer to you, so that I may be a witness of Your Love and Kindness. Thru the name of Jesus I claim this. Amen