Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Storing Up in Heaven

This was last night's sunset there were some high clouds, so I kept watching for the sunset because I knew it would be a really good one. I waited too long and it got too dark for a picture. It was a lot prettier than the picture came out.

We had our landscape plants put in this morning and found out at about 4:00pm a big storm is coming. The winds are blowing the young trees so hard it seems like the leaves will all strip off. I hesitate to go out and look at the 4 bouganvilleas. The plants were expensive and I am distressed that they are all being ruined by the dust storm that is preceeding the big storm front.

We have never had a dust storm here in the year that we have lived here. Then it happens on the same day we put in the plants. The nursery guarantees the plants, but I bet they have a clause for "Acts of God", so probably won't replace any of them.

Oh well, this life is as the grass of the field, too bad that we put so much effort into it. This just shows me how impermanent life is. My concern should be the Kingdom of God, not how my front yard looks. I was concerned about the heat, which today, got up to 103 degrees. I hadn't heard any news about a big storm coming until we turned on the news at 4:30 today.

That's the one thing that I have such trouble with. If I only think on the things of God, how do I balance it with the earthly things? Should I have taken in 3 dogs or sponsored a child in a 3rd world country? Should I have bought 2 trees and some plants for the front yard or donated that money to the missions? Should I go to the movies to see X-Men III on Saturday night, or put that much additional into the collection plate on Sunday? My husband is a non-believer and would prefer that I not give any money at all to church, since I still have not found a job and am not bringing any money into the household. So he feels that any money I donate is his money......sort of.

I pray about these questions frequently, have not received an answer from God and don't have any peace about them. They nag at me every time I spend any money. I pray to the Lord to give me the answers.


Carol said...

We're in similar (but not exactly the same) situations with husbands. After praying in earnest about the giving issue, I was led to ask him for an allowance. I didn't want to do this, but I'm convinced the Lord laid it on my heart to do so. It solved many problems for us - him questioning any non-grocery purchase I made, me going over budget with unnecessary things, etc. But the best thing is now I can freely give tithes and offerings out of *my* money while he remains responsible for not doing out of his own, see?

So my allowance is budgeted into the household finances. Any additional expenses, like the kids' summer camps, replacing the patio umbrella that got destroyed in the wind, (oh, the wind!) etc., comes out of his general budget. He also takes care of mortgage, utilities, car payments, etc.

Another thing I did was to serve the church. The amount of work I did (still do) equaled that of a 10-hour/week paid staff member. So, when I was not always able to contribute financially, I contributed in service until I worked out a way to give monetarily.

Anyway, it's how I was able to resolve this issue for myself. The first step is always prayer.

P.S. my husband is beginning to come around. Now he does give...some.

Diana said...

hey Auntee!

There are only two commandments and sometimes I have to remind myself of what they are. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength." and "Love your neighbor as yourself."

When the pressure to "do" gets me confused at at unrest, I just spend more time loving God. I love Him for His creation, I love Him for His word. I get to know Him more and appreciate Him more. There is no use trying to do the best job for God when we have a hard time hearing His voice. The idea is to become obsessed with Him and talk to Him and ask Him and explore Him and ENJOY Him! He is too marvelous for comprehension!

When I wrote about life being a job, I think God gave me that 'revelation' because I He knows I am starting to enjoy Him. Sometimes I'm like, "Lord, You know what's best for me so I'm just going to wait on You while I soak myself in Your word and pray. But, thank You so much for my dog, springtime, and my sense of humor."

Being thankful lightens the heart and takes the pressure off. If God has a job for you, He'll let you know. First love Him with more of yourself everyday. That's the way to have peace like a river...