Valentine's Day is about love, isn't it? I pray for friends and family, God's Love on this day and all days.
When I was a teenager and young adult, I thought love was that feeling that gave me butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't wait to see that person again and there was an ache, almost a pain in separation. When I saw them, my heart would leap, beating fast. I became lightheaded and hypersensitive to every word and expression of my beloved. When those feelings went away, I thought that I had fallen out of love. That person became a non-entity, someone that I couldn't get away from fast enough.
Now I understand that feelings fool us. Love isn't a feeling, it's an action, a choice, a commitment. My feelings can get me into trouble. I most often "feel" love, contentment, serenity, anger, frustration, disappointment, disgust and dislike. My feelings are strong and can pull me up and down like a roller coaster. I can be up on a cloud one minute and down in the pit of despair the next minute. I have learned that the ups and downs are just part of the circus in my head. Feelings and emotions don't get me through life, they complicate it. Love today is a choice to put God's love for me into action. I have not yet learned to love unconditionally, but daily(and even hourly)give up control to the Lord by placing my emotions/feelings in His Hands.
I always had very strong emotions and my feelings would overpower me. Today, with God's help, I understand that I chose to not have self-control(completely different than trying to control others, BTW) over my emotions and developed a bad habit of having outbursts of emotion. I used to say, "Oh well, that's just how I am", but now I see that I was being selfish and lazy when it came to expressing myself. I didn't care how it affected anyone else, I just spewed out whatever passed through my head. In my heart, I was holding a lot of resentment and bitterness for what I perceived had been done to me(the victim). Now, little by little, The Lord is revealing my character flaws to me and giving me a chance to change them through His grace.
My Valentine today is to my Lord and Savior, Redeemer and Gentle Shepherd, Jesus. I love you, Lord and give you all the praise for the changes you are working in my life.