I am enjoying reading blogs written by Christian women. They delight and inspire me. I am one who was saved during the so called "Jesus" movement in the 60's. My life was forever changed. Instead of despair, I had hope. Instead of wondering, "Is that all there is?" my life had purpose. Instead of being a fearful sinner, I had Jesus, the shepherd who gave me hinds feet to go to the high places. I was forgiven, washed white in the blood of my Savior.
Today, I struggle with myself. You see, I am unequally yoked with a non-believing spouse. I chose to marry him, knowing that he did not even believe in the existance of God. I thought that over time, I could, through prayer and example, change him, save him. Instead, for a time, early in the marriage, the union caused me to backslide. There was always something to do on a Sunday.....there was always something to do in the evenings. One day, many years ago, I realized that I hadn't prayed or attended church or spoken to anyone about the Lord. I was unhappy and depresssed and wondering why.....
Praise the Lord, He shook me up and woke me up. I returned to the Lord, full force. My commitment to Jesus is total, since then. Yes, I still struggle with the desire for perfection, patience, anger, volitility, discipline, gossiping and I am sure many more sins that stain my robes. But as I come to Jesus, daily, confess and accept grace and forgiveness, those robes are washed white.
These blogs that I read let me see that other Christian women struggle also. They are not perfect, just forgiven, as I am. When I listen to the songs of Keith Green, in the 70's on vinyl, in the 80-90's on tape and now on CD, it helps me to realize that someone who loved the Lord, mightly, as King David, still had doubts, fears and bad moments. That's the journey here on planet Earth. We walk through it. Sometimes we fall off the path; sometimes we stumble; sometimes we cannot find our way, but we call out to the Great Shepherd and He gathers us up into His arms. He clears our eyes so we can see the path; He sets us back on the path and we follow Him.
Lord, make my life a prayer to you. For your glory.