And it’s all about – okay here’s that word once again – CONTROL. The classic Type A personality with people-pleasing thrown in.
I give to others as my way of exerting my control over people and situations, I resent their dependence on my giving and giving because now they expect it and the stress on me to perform is ever-increasing. But can I release that control? Maybe for a little bit of time, but it’s excrutiating to do so. Why can’t I just trust the Lord, be obedient to His Word and rest assured that He will look out for me? Why do I have to manipulate every situation so that I feel some measure of control? A posting I read today has made me think about these issues to the point that I must pray to my Heavenly Father to cause me to desire letting go of control. I need to give up this filthy habit. Every thing that I struggle with in my life rotates around the control issue. I can see that now. Time to pray!
I spent 2 hours looking a non-diet websites, blogs, Yahoo groups, etc. The support group I belong to has decided to follow a non-dieting approach to weight loss and healthy living. The idea is that for 25 years(or how ever long each of us has had an issue with food) dieting just hasn't worked. We are now set to begin eating smaller portions and only when we are hungry. We have to reprogram our way of thinking about food. No BAD foods. Eat when hungry and eat only enough to sate that hunger. That means eating an amount of food about the size of a deck of cards. How can I do this? Only with God's strength. I have no willpower(i.e. control) over food.
Jesus, today give me Your strength to endure to the end of the day. Let me rest and not struggle to retain control. Help me to pray or call someone when I get weak, let me lean on You or a friend for help. I can't do this alone--I never could.