Monday, December 04, 2006

Struggle is a Daily Thing

Isn't always interesting that when I start to pray about and deal with my worst bad habit, I get confirmation from God that this is exactly what He wants me to do? I consider my control issue to be my worst BAD HABIT. I call it a habit because when I go thru daily life, I use control as my way of coping. If I don't release it every day by addressing it first thing in the morning in prayer and trusting my Heavenly Father to look after me, I pull it back into my life. A few days go by without praying about it and I find that I am using it again.

It's a bad habit, just like chewing ones fingernails or whatever (you fill in the blanks). I have found that when I let one bad habit in, some others slide right back in as well. Next thing I know, my witness is poor again. And wouldn't you know, my unsaved husband is the first one to point it out to me.

When I walk with Jesus as my shepherd and follow His path, my burdens are light and the path is easy. I have serenity. When I walk in the flesh, I am frustrated, upset, anxious and angry. Why is the way of the flesh so hard to give up then? I think on my part, it's pride. I want to be able to say, "I did this.......I accomplished this"....I want to be praised and recognized for those things I do. I know that God is the author of all good things in my life because without Him, my life is ugly and unsatisfying.

I have had such joy since I have made a renewed committment to follow the Lord's leading in all areas of my life. I am thrilled that I can hear the Holy Spirit is letting me know when I even slightly stray from the path. I am now noticing each tiny slip that leads to a slide. I can correct the slip before it becomes serious. I love following Jesus! My life gets better every day. Praise the Lord!

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Here it is again

And it’s all about – okay here’s that word once again – CONTROL. The classic Type A personality with people-pleasing thrown in.

I give to others as my way of exerting my control over people and situations, I resent their dependence on my giving and giving because now they expect it and the stress on me to perform is ever-increasing. But can I release that control? Maybe for a little bit of time, but it’s excrutiating to do so. Why can’t I just trust the Lord, be obedient to His Word and rest assured that He will look out for me? Why do I have to manipulate every situation so that I feel some measure of control? A posting I read today has made me think about these issues to the point that I must pray to my Heavenly Father to cause me to desire letting go of control. I need to give up this filthy habit. Every thing that I struggle with in my life rotates around the control issue. I can see that now. Time to pray!

I spent 2 hours looking a non-diet websites, blogs, Yahoo groups, etc. The support group I belong to has decided to follow a non-dieting approach to weight loss and healthy living. The idea is that for 25 years(or how ever long each of us has had an issue with food) dieting just hasn't worked. We are now set to begin eating smaller portions and only when we are hungry. We have to reprogram our way of thinking about food. No BAD foods. Eat when hungry and eat only enough to sate that hunger. That means eating an amount of food about the size of a deck of cards. How can I do this? Only with God's strength. I have no willpower(i.e. control) over food.

Jesus, today give me Your strength to endure to the end of the day. Let me rest and not struggle to retain control. Help me to pray or call someone when I get weak, let me lean on You or a friend for help. I can't do this alone--I never could.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Friday's Feast No. 120

Friday's Feast No. 120

Appetizer
Have you even flown in a helicopter?
Yes I have. In the early 1970’s Peter Revson, heir to the Revlon fortune had an off-road dune buggy that he raced in the desert by Palm Springs. We followed him from above in a helicopter in case he had any trouble.

Soup
What color is your warmest coat or jacket?
It is black, cozy with fake fur and a hood.

Salad
What is your favorite rainy day activity?
Sitting in front of the fireplace reading a good book—wait a minute! I don’t have a fireplace any longer. Oh well, curling up with a good book.

Main Course
Describe your hands.
I guess you would say that I have my grandmother’s hands. They are kind of big for a woman, as I can span one key past an octave on the piano. I have long nails painted a soft pinky-beige color. I only wear my wedding ring as all my other rings were stolen when our house was burglarized last year. They are tan, because since we moved to Arizona, I have a perpetual tan on my exposed skin.

Dessert
If you could eat only one nut for the rest of your life, what nut would you pick?
I was going to say cashews but then I thought about it. I really like cashews and macadamia nuts, but get tired of both of them before I get done with the opened can. I think I’ll say peanuts instead. I like peanuts and peanut butter. I would really miss it if I had to give up peanut butter.